YTT- The Path Unfolding
Greetings MyYogaPal and Fightmaster Yoga Communities.
Happy New Year!
It’s been a minute since the last blog. Duke and Kristina, and other helpful people have been busy working on the Fightmaster Online Teacher Training. This New Year’s first blog is about Erin Donovan’s journey to becoming a Yoga Teacher. She continues to manifest a being who continually opens herself up to the possibilities of what the universe offers for her growth.
I’ve been a huge fan of her writing and this recent blog she wrote reinforces why I connect to her through her soul baring honesty and how eloquently she expresses herself.
The theme for this month’s blog is Be Curious, Be Courageous, Be Creative
YTT- The Path Unfolding
by Erin Donovan- CHC, E-RYT-500
People are surprised when I tell them I didn't plan on being a yoga teacher. It happened organically.
While in college, I worked at a studio to take free classes. A teacher training was being offered, but I didn't even think about it until one day, the owner offered for me to take the program. I thought it would simply give me a deeper understanding of Yoga and connection to myself but little did I know that amazingly kind gesture sent me on my path.
I loved the YTT. It was a relatively large group of us—mostly women, but a few men. The instructors were knowledgeable and kind and taught me so much about how to move safely. As I practiced from this perspective, I began to really understand the connection between my mind and my body on a deeper level. I was the youngest in the room, but I felt so empowered. Once I completed the YTT, I thought that "maybe" I would teach at some point, but I still wasn't sure.
After graduating college with a degree in psychology, I relocated to NC, intending to apply to UNC for their Masters in Social Work. I knew I wanted to help people. There was very little Yoga within 25 miles, and there was no option for daily practice. I began to go to gyms to see if they were interested in offering classes. I got laughed at repeatedly. In 1999, Yoga still had a deep stigma of turbans and chanting. I decided to get my aerobics certification and used Yoga poses as the "stretching and core conditioning" portion of my classes. It was a huge hit. Within 3 months, I quit my full-time job and taught 4-5 classes a day. Over 2 years, I faded out the aerobics and solely taught Yoga, finally opening my own studio. Almost 25 years later, I never did go for my Master's degree, but I feel I help people every day. The universe had a different plan for me, which I could have never planned for myself.
Over the years, I have taken over 2,000 training hours. Some I would do again in a heartbeat, and others, on more than one occasion, walked out halfway through because their ego was front and center, and I felt they were looking for a performance rather than a heart-centered practice. It's all one significant learning experience, and I have learned to take a piece from each person of what feels wonderful as a student and what feels judgmental. Being the person at the front of the room guiding people safely through their bodies and emotions is a huge responsibility, and it is an extreme honor to be a part of it.
What drew me to Lesley was her realness. Her commitment to her student's mental well-being and her constant desire to remind us that we don't have to be perfect. After all, if you trace Yoga back to its lineage, it's not about the poses. It's about healing yourself from the inside out.
Erin Donovan in Parsva Sukhasana
Finding Fulfillment
Dear MyYogaPal & Fightmaster Yoga Communities,
Happy Fall. The fullness of summer has opened to the season of harvest and our homes and hearts will be full of celebrating the coming holidays.
We are blessed to have holidays to commemorate special occasions of giving thanks for the harvest (Thanksgiving and Kwanzaa), and the holy days of Hanukkah and Christmas. These times can be stressful, because of expectations we set upon others, ourselves and the occasion itself. We focus on making it all ‘perfect’ as we imagine perfection to be the decorations, the gifts, the food, the clothes, the invitees and the ambiance.
Could there perhaps be something else beyond all that? Erin Donovan reminds us there is abundance and fulfillment with the simplest and greatest gift of gratitude and giving of ourselves to others.
Finding Fulfillment
by Erin Donovan
In 2015, while living in Asia, I was lucky enough to visit one of the most historically rich countries I have ever been to, Cambodia. While there, we visited the capital city, Phnom Penh, and spent a day at Phnom Tamao Wildlife Rescue Center. There, we walked and fed Lucky the elephant and some of her friends, watched Chhouk, the elephant who lost part of his leg, get his prosthetic changed, played with monkeys, and learned about the work they do, saving injured animals in the jungles, bringing them to safety, and rehabilitating them. Once recovered, most animals live permanently at the rescue center.
The center is set back in the forest. On our way there, we drove slowly down a long, windy dirt road when suddenly, I began to see a few small huts peeking out between the brush. Suddenly, children began to run to the edge of the road to wave. They seemed so delighted to have visitors driving down their street. The smiles on their faces were pure delight. What stood out, other than their enormous grins, was the fact they were completely naked. Our tour guide explained that these children lived in the huts. They were so poor; they had one outfit to wear and one pair of shoes, so to not ruin them, they spent most of their time naked. These children had absolutely nothing but a contented look on their faces, which I think most people long for.
These images replay in my mind often. Although I imagine their lives are extremely difficult on a level that I will never fully understand, they constantly remind me that fulfillment is not found in stuff. It's located in the moments and experiences that we choose. We can celebrate what we have or fall into the darkness of the lack we wish we had.
Especially in America, we are constantly bombarded with the idea that if we "have" this one thing, we will be happy. Scroll on social media for 30 seconds, and you will find ad after ad, post after post of it. Want a better body? Use these supplements or follow this program. Want to be successful? Wear these clothes. Want better hair or clearer skin? Use these products. It can be so overwhelming and mentally draining. But ask yourself, has any of this stuff made you feel happy and fulfilled? Then think about a memory you have doing something where you were so content. I would bet when you think of it; it still brings a smile to your face. That, my friends, is fulfillment. It cannot be bought. It is given with your heart and soul and repaid with a deep feeling of joy and contentment. This is where the idea of service comes in. In Yoga philosophy, it's called Seva, meaning selfless service.
With the holidays approaching quickly, I'll put an idea out for you. What if instead of buying "stuff," you choose to do something to create lifetime memories with loved ones? Doing something meaningful doesn't have to cost you anything, but your time together is priceless. Volunteering is a beautiful way to find fulfillment.
Here are a few examples of places you can volunteer that would welcome help:
If you're an animal lover: Local dog or cat rescue. Whether through your county shelter or an independent rescue, there are many ways to volunteer that do not cost anything but are rewarding experiences.
There are also food pantries, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, and senior citizen complexes.
The possibilities are endless if you think about the area where you live and how you would like to serve others. I believe when we give of ourselves and help others, we can find the true meaning of fulfillment.
It is not happy people who are grateful; it's grateful people who are happy. - by Unknown Writer
Journey of Transformation
Hello Fightmaster Yoga/MyYogaPal Community,
It has been a powerful month of renewals in celebrating two “New Year” events: Ethiopian New Year (Enkutatash) which happened on September 11th and of course recently, Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashannah) on September 25th.
Renewal is a journey of transformation. Transformation is an alchemy on many levels: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. On a physical level, it is the reorganization of the molecules at the cellular level whereby the same organic substance have been transformed from something “old” to its “new” form. What is the catalyst that triggered the change? From the perspective of yoga, it is “tapas” alternatively known as “heat”.
Fire is a powerful catalyst for change. I remember my first introduction to this concept during chemistry lab in high school. Mr. Hopkins put a flame to a beaker of water and described the transformation of liquid to steam. It was the change from room temperature to its boiling point of 100 degrees Celsius that caused the water molecules to separate and dissipate from its liquid form to evaporate to air. Take away the heat by putting the liquid to its freezing point of 0 degrees Celsius and the liquid turns to solid - ice.
It’s the same but not the same. It’s still water - H20 in its various forms - solid-liquid-steam. Another dimension of water is it takes the form of its container - ice cubes, a pretty blue vase of water to snow flakes and the ocean. It’s all water, sometimes mixed with other substances like salt, but still we call it a body of water or the shape of a cloud. It is the “tapas” that transforms the liquid. The intention of removing the “heat” from the liquid is also tapas, because it takes energy to think and act to change liquid into solid. What precipitates the thought or idea for change? The inspiration can be motivated by pain or joy (fear or love). I expand my imagination to the evolving drug culture.
There has lately been a growth in publicity on the increasing occurrences of accidental deaths related to Fentanyl. This was a drug intended for anesthesia and pain management. This purposeful medical use has expanded to recreational drug, but also Fentanyl can be introduced unknowingly to most users in drugs they believe they are familiar with (cocaine, heroin, etc.) effectively producing not a drug but a potent, poison. While it's associated with recreational drug use, it is now recognized as something as an unmitigated toxin. In expanding the arc of transformation, this concept is used in the journey of the hero/heroine who responds to the “call to journey” (Joseph Campbell) in fulfilling their destiny. At the beginning of the story the substance is the same as the substance at the end of the journey. What’s changed is the perspective, or in other words the relationship of the hero/heroine to the dragon he/she has gone out to slay, tame or befriend.
The dragon is the master, because it is the part of the consciousness that drives the obsession about what he/she thinks as perhaps ugly, loathsome and undesirable. In the battle with dragon, the hero/heroine is consumed with willing power over the dragons that in actuality is controlling the warrior to be consumed at all cost to win, and seizing to paralysis the ability for the hero/heroine to lose “sight” of his/her divine nature. The loss of “sight” is the lack of awareness (or shining enough light from dim to bright) to illuminate the truth. So, the battle has to be fought as this is the tapas. Daily, hourly and ticking minutes of the clock the sword is cleaned, wielded, soiled and put back into its sheath until the moment that the hero/heroine recognizes the face in the mirror as the dragon wanting to be loved and befriended. Hero/Heroine and the dragon are one and the same, but with a new relationship of respect and love.
To be whole we also need to love the parts of ourselves that we perceive as unlovable. I came upon this in meditating about renewal, because I’ve also come from a place of despair wondering why am I not good enough and trying too hard to please others when I really need to please myself. It’s not even about spoiling myself to any excesses of anything, but just recognizing that “I am” is enough.
Words of wisdom from Lesley:
“Practicing gratitude and thanksgiving are wonderful ways to increase those positive neural pathways in your mind and they make you feel happier.”
“Find that feeling of gratitude in your body, the sensation of it. Think of something that you are grateful for within yourself.”
“You have something that makes you very special; connect with that.”
“Find that feeling again, that feeling of gratitude in your body, and breathe into it. Notice how it shifts your energy. All of a sudden you start feeling a little more joy in your body, your mind, and in your life.”
Morning Light & Renewal
Hi Fightmaster Yoga / MyYogaPal Community,
It feels good to post a new blog for September with our theme of “Renewal”. When I reached out to Erin for an idea for September’s theme she had just been pondering the sunrise she had witnessed. It was beyond witnessing the rise of a new day, because she has a daily ritual of rising with the sun with a purpose.
The journey of each day begins with an intention to start fresh. What a graceful reminder that we need not cling to our shortcomings of yesterday, but to do better with the gift of a new day - the present. I have already gleaned much wisdom in reading what Erin shares here. I have deep respect for her openness and gratitude.
Morning Light & Renewal
by Erin Donovan
"Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order."― Anne Wilson Schaef.
If you've ever seen a piece of Japanese pottery that has broken, you may notice something very intentional about how it is repaired; with gold. The method is called "Kintsugi," which means 'the beauty of imperfections." This is a metaphor for embracing your flaws and imperfections instead of trying to hide them.
I love this idea because it translates so well to what Lesley, and now to what Duke also says, "you don't have to be perfect." So often, even when we get on our mat, we may feel pressured to "be" a certain way, to move a certain way, or look a certain way. In reality, though we all have a body, each one of us is entirely different. Over time, I have learned that this is something to celebrate.
I am a recovering perfectionist. I've been that way for as long as I can remember. People often laugh when I say that, but sadly, it's true. When I began therapy at 16, these behaviors were brought to life before me. I'll be honest - it's not something that's gone away entirely. It's something I constantly work on all these years later. When I'm stressed, the perfectionistic beast begins to come forward to try to take over and "fix" things. She can be exhausting. But still, I work on it because I've learned a few things about perfectionism along the healing journey.
Perfectionism is about control. Wanting things to be a specific way in order to feel safe, seen, or heard. However, no matter how hard we try, even when all the stars align and a situation works out exactly how we want, we may still feel inadequate. Why? Because perfectionism is an impossible goal. There will always be something else it's longing to reach for. I've often compared it to a jaded rainbow. You can't see the beginning, and you can't see the end, but it's there.
When life feels like it's spinning out of control, it can be so challenging, but there are ways to lovingly recenter yourself in a matter of minutes if you allow yourself to. This is the reason why I love watching the sun rise each morning. As I do, I begin to feel the light enter around me. A new day. A fresh start. A clean slate.
This daily ritual is essential for my mental health because it gives me permission to begin again. I repeat the mantra, "Peace begins with me," as I tap my thumb to each finger. I breathe deeply in through my nose and out through my mouth with an audible sigh. I think of it as a renewal for my mind and soul. I remind myself that today my best is good enough. Over time and with consistent practice, I have learned that I need to balance myself at the beginning of the day so that I can move forward without taking the baggage from yesterday with me. It's not always easy, but I try my best, and that is always enough.
A Twenty-one Minute Sunrise Morning Vinyasa at the Beach
Time & The Mindfulness
Hello MyYogaPal Community!
I’m so delighted to introduce our next blog on the theme of Time from Erin Donovan. Her insight and expression is fluid, like the beats of time moving from one breath to the next.
I was at a birthday celebration for a young woman who turned 95 this weekend. She confessed that during the rare times she paid attention at her reflection in the mirror, she can hardly believe what she sees. In her mind age was just a number. I’ll repeat, “Age is just a number.” Her advice to maintaining a healthy and youthful attitude is “to be yourself, be kind and laugh a lot.” She expressed not taking any moment for granted, and expressed several times throughout the party, “Life is too short”, hence stretch out each moment with presence and mindfulness.
Here’s Erin’s take on “Time”…
Time and the Mindfulness
by Erin Donovan
Many physicists have said, "time is an illusion," including Albert Einstein. This statement can be taken in many different ways depending on your perspective. For example, some scientists believe that time does not exist, that only space and velocity exist, but that can be another blog.
The late Buddhist meditation teacher, author, and lecturer Thich Nhat Hahn often wrote about the concept of time and how to be in the present moment. In one of my favorite books, Being Peace, he said, "Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is the only moment." Whenever I read those words, it is a constant reminder to me that this moment is what I have. It's so easy to live obsessing about the past or worry about the future, but when we breathe in and out, we can remind ourselves to be in the here and now and that this moment is the only moment. It sounds simple, but I find it a challenge most days.
When we're little, we want often want to rush time. Wishing it could go faster so we can grow up. We often wish time would slow down when we grow up because we realize it goes so quickly. But in actuality, we're not guaranteed any time except for this exact moment that we are living in. This is not meant to be a morbid or pessimistic statement, just simply a reminder that when we live in the present moment, we can see the gifts in our lives more apparent, even when it's hard. This is where the practice of mindfulness comes in.
Mindfulness is being completely engaged with whatever we're doing at the moment, whether it be meditating, driving, playing with your kids, or washing dishes. Through mindfulness, we learn how to become aware of our thoughts and feelings without getting attached to them. Instead, we allow the thoughts and feelings to float as if we were watching clouds pass in the sky.
Several times this week, I have practiced different meditations with Lesley. One I love is from Yoga Fix 30, day 28. There are a few minutes of gentle yoga, which helps prepare the physical body for meditation. This particular meditation is a visualization of being at the beach. As she brings us out of the meditation, she reads a quote from Walt Whitman, "Happiness, knowledge, not in another place, but this place. Not for another hour, but this hour." This reminds us to be in the present moment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vufdzJsqF8
All the best,
Erin Donovan- CHC, E-RYT-500
