My Journey to Self-Love
Hello! Welcome to another blog on the theme of L-O-V-E.
Our next blogger is Erin Donovan. She describes herself as…
“… an E-RYT-500, certified meditation teacher, and certified health coach in NC. I love to share practical tools to help stressed-out people find balance, from the inside out.”
My Journey to Self-Love
Just because someone doesn't 'look' depressed, doesn't mean they're not. Some of us are just experts at hiding it.
In December 2019 I broke mentally. It was a very, very long time coming. A long time of 'I'm fine," until I woke up one morning and I wasn't, but I was ashamed to admit it.
I've been a yoga and meditation teacher since 1999, so I know what to do to help when stress begins to get overwhelming, but this was different. I had no control over it. No amount of Yoga, meditation, tapping, or praying was helping. I kept trying to push through it. 'I know all the tools to help', I told myself. 'I'll be fine in time', I kept telling myself.
Thank God my husband knew better. He saw the signs and saw me free-falling into the dark hole. He grabbed me by the hand & we had a very hard, honest conversation. That was the first huge step towards healing.
Depression is a sneaky interloper. I didn't think it would happen to me, but it did. I realize now it had been slowly building for years. I just didn't realize it. I kept telling myself I'd be fine, but I wasn't. I was ashamed because I teach others how to love and help themselves, but I couldn't help myself. I have realized that depression clings to shame like a cloak.
Despite all the talk around mental health in recent years, when you are suffering from it, you can feel so lonely, ashamed, or embarrassed. You think “what's wrong with me?” The truth is, there's nothing wrong with you. A biochemical problem in the brain is no different than any other uncontrollable health issue. We would never look at a type 1 diabetic and think “what's wrong with you?” However, when you're in the midst of suffering, you can't always view it that logically. This journey has taught me so much.
Here are some of the lessons I have learned.
I make self-love my first priority every single day. I have learned that the best way for me to let go of the fear and shame is by talking about it. For me, it takes away the power of the negative voice.
It's okay to not be okay. No matter who you are, it's okay. Shame will lie to you. Depression will lie to you. Guilt will lie to you. Don't believe it. A very helpful tool that I began to practice for self-love and acceptance, I learned from Louise Hay. She recommended to look at yourself in the mirror every day and look into your eyes and say "I love you." It sounds simple, but it is profound and incredibly healing.
Talk to someone you trust. Be honest. There is so much help available for you. You don't need to suffer in silence. You can take off the fake mask of “I'm fine.”
You are worth it. I know it feels hopeless, but it's not. You will see light again. Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely! YOU are worth it. That is what I am certain of.
Lesley Fightmaster in meditation.
4 Better Breathing Techniques for Yoga
You probably charge your smart phone every night, but how often do you recharge your mind? The secret to doing so is through proper control of the breath.
The branch of yoga that is dedicated to breathing techniques is known as Pranayama – meaning breath control. Prana means “life force” and Ayama means “to extend.” Breathing exercises are a vital part of effective yoga practices. These breathing techniques also can be useful for us to destress in our daily lives. Practiced properly, pranayama will bring harmony to your mind, body and spirit. These breathing exercises will help to make you mentally, spiritually and physically strong.
There are many yoga breathing techniques that can be effective to enhance your practice. Below are four for you to try.
Note: Before you begin, it is advised to take several relaxed breaths before and after the exercises. Begin with 30 seconds for each exercise, and build to longer durations as you feel your body is ready. If you experience dizziness, stop and rest, while you even out your breaths. If you are pregnant, do not practice these exercises. It is important that you refrain from breathing exercises that require you to hold your breath.
#1 Agni Sara
This is a very warming practice, as Agni means “fire” and Sara means “essence.” It’s effective for warming and toning the abdominal muscles. It also is known for igniting Tapas (heat) in the organs. The Agni Sara practice is an excellent choice for detoxifying the body.
You can practice Agni Sara by standing with your feet hips distance apart, parallel and your knees bent. Rest your hands just above your knees. Inhale fully through the nose. Then vigorously pump the exhale through the nose. At the bottom of your exhale, pull your navel in and up very strongly holding the breath out for several seconds. After you’ve held the breath out for 5 to 10 seconds, let your belly release and inhale again repeating the process. Start with 3 to 5 rounds and take several natural breaths in between rounds. As you continue practicing, try to increase holding the breath out for 15-20 seconds.
Here is a video of my teacher Diana explaining
#2 Lion’s Breath
Lion’s Breath encourages sudden release. It also invites some playfulness into your practice. It is one of the most fun breathing techniques to try, especially with little ones. It’s also, of course, great for adults. It’s a wonderful way to unwind from the day and to embrace some rest.
Lion’s Breath involves deeply inhaling through the nose. Then, lean the head back, open the mouth wide to exhale loudly – while sticking out your tongue. Try this breathing technique while you raise your arms on an inhale. Then, form cactus arms with the exhale and accentuate the feeling of relief as the breath exits the body.
My friend Adrienne has a wonderful video
#3 Skull Shining/Kapalabhati Breathing
Skull Shining also is known as Kapalabhati Breathing. This is another cleansing breath practice technique that enhances the energy level. It is similar to Agni Sara in that it creates heat, but the stress is even more on the exhale. There is a passive inhale and a forced exhale...imagine you’re trying to blow a candle out through your nose. To practice, take a long inhale through the nose and exhale out of your nose in short, strong bursts. Traditionally this practice is counted in rounds that add up to 108 (a very auspicious number). If you’re newer to pranayama practice, I recommend starting with 4 rounds of 27 pumps each. Next move to 2 rounds of 54 pumps. I like to add a retention of the breath in between rounds.
You may also try to hold your hands in your favorite hand Mudra or gesture. For instance, you can try Apana Mudra for digestion and detoxification by placing your second and third fingers against your thumb. Your hands will kind of resemble a cat’s head with your middle and ring fingers resting on the thumb so that a triangle is formed. Stick your pinkie and pointer finger in a straight up fashion, like ears.
I take you through this breath technique at the 8:36 min point of this video
#4 Alternate Nostril Breathing/Nadi Shodhana
This is a breathing exercise that requires focus and clarity. Alternate Nostril Breathing often is a great practice right before an exam. It also is generally good for bringing a sense of focus and discipline. Focusing in this fashion can bring a sense of calm. It clears the mind. That is why many use it before they rest for the night; it is especially well suited for those who tend to think about the day’s problems while trying to fall asleep.
Use this breathing technique by putting the right middle and pointer finger in the palm of the hand. Leave the pinkie and ring fingers and the thumb completely free. Put the right thumb over the right nostril. Inhale through your left nostril. Next, take the ring and pinkie fingers and put them over the left nostril to exhale via the right nostril. Now, leave your hand where it is and inhale via the left nostril. Now switch and put the thumb over the right nostril and exhale via the left nostril. Repeat until you have completed your breathing exercise.
It’s easy to get your left and right turned around during this exercise (as I sometimes do while teaching it!). But you should not give up. It’s common to struggle with this breathing exercise at first. It is important to remember when you inhale, you want to seal that breath inside, and that is when you want to switch sides. As this practice gets easier for you, you can add your bhandas or “energitic locks” at the top of your inhales (holding the breath in) and at the bottom of your exhale (as you hold the breath out). To engage your bhandas, draw your lower belly in and up, lift all of the muscles in your pelvic floor and lower your chin toward your chest.
I take you through this breath practice at the 11 minute mark of this video
References
Pranayama. The Beginner’s Guide to Yoga Breathing Exercises. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.artofliving.org/us-en/yoga/breathing-techniques/yoga-and-pranayama